I woke up with a banging head pain close to my eye bone, and it is not something I enjoy having. Who does? Let me tell you why. I have a time frame to meet and I don’t have all it takes to do so. I used to until yesterday! So there’s this file where I keep all important documents as regards office work depending on the projects at hand.
I lost one!
Now this document contains vital information that needs to be submitted before Friday and all of a sudden I can’t find it. This is strange because I keep important documents safe, I actually saw this document last week and as at yesterday it was no more. I was devastated. Looking for anything, is not my best point. I can go all moody and needy till I find it. It makes me feel so unbalanced and emotional. I started my search, I started retracing my steps but apparently I got blank! LORD, how did I get here?
I left the office feeling drained and weak… I cried, yes, I was hurt, I betrayed myself for not being careful enough. I reached home, my niece and nephews just know how to take the pain away, but it was short-lived as I remembered that “I’m not meant to be happy”.
I sulked my way to my room and talked to God for help and focused on everything possible that was willing to distract me. I talked to my friend – who’s so supportive and who encouraged me to seek the help of the Holy Spirit, which I did, and I’m still doing. I cried in my soul because I knew the state this kind of situation always brings me to – Sad, Drained and Weak. I turned to the help I’ve always known and as I inquired of the LORD through HIS Word, I found this – “For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.” Romans 8:24-25. Hope is actually looking at something you can’t see. How do you do that? You do it by looking at the promises of God in the Word until with your inner eyes―the eyes of your spirit―a picture is formed” I cried again.
The easiest thing I have realized to do is giving up! Sometimes we don’t want to be saddled with the responsibility of taking ownership for our actions. One other thing is that we don’t trust God. We feel HE should handle the bigger more important challenges and then we carry the smaller burdens, that keeps us worrying, sad and drenched. I was drenched so much so that I slept with such heavy heart and woke up with a smashing head pain that hurts so badly when i bend my head.
How did I get here!
I totally thought I could do it all alone! I returned to he devotion by K. Copeland as he continued,”…….Go to the Word of God and begin to change the images inside you. Change them from images of despair to images of hope. Get a blueprint in your heart and your faith will build on it – Change the Image!!!” So this is me challenging myself and everyone – THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WORRY CAN SOLVE! NOTHING!!! Like my best-friend said,”What is the worst that can happen?” Confront those fears and move headlong. I am taking this weekend to meditate on Scripture around Trust.
I decided to eat a plate of Roasted Plantain (Boli) & Yam with Pepper Sauce garnished with Utazi Leaves and Onions alongside a bottle of fresh juice to calm my nerves…
P.S The food pictures aren’t exactly min but just showing you what I ate!!!!