Feb 23, 2018 | A Devotional
How close is the end.
An end might be a beginning for someone,yea?
On Saturday, the 2nd of December, I had a reality call. My cousin’s son randomly asked me my age.
“Aunty amarachi, you are 20 something years old right?”
“Erm, yes” I replied reluctantly trying to avoid his question. Children of nowadays can be smart for the universe.
I left him wondering the exact number as I suddenly went cold. It just occurred to me that by this time next year I would be counting 3 years to the big 3! I literally froze! I quickly found comfort on the wall close by if not the floor would have been glad to welcome me.
I did a throwback to when I was 18 and fierce, I wanted to be everything and more, full of adventure and carefree! I remember reading my teen diary months back with tears and laughter; all the things I thought I wanted and more…. So, the point is, I hadn’t accomplished what I felt I was to by this age, that’s why I was down. In my life’s diary by now I should have an amazing global job (still on it though), have one better hunk on my matter (but bros why you dey tey na), vacae in two different cities yearly, attend important networking events, the flattest tummy ever amongst other things! So you can see why I almost fell…..
I climbed up to my room, and lay on my bed as I cried in my pillow, oh my pillow; physical comfort always, thanks for being there! As I was drowning in the worry and self pity of the moment likewise daydreaming of how it should have been the still voice came “You are still alive”
This time I knew where it was coming from but I just didn’t want to listen. You know when the Holy Spirit is ministering something to your spirit but you are trying to be stubborn, yup, that’s the moment. I really didn’t wanna hear, all I wanted was to be where I should be – with all those aspirations.
I cried again.
Why am I here, with not much of everything I desire. Next thing I know is the prayer of “I roll my works upon you Lord, I commit and trust them to you, for you will cause my thoughts to become agreeable to your will, so my plans will be established and succeed” coming to my spirit and I literally just fall weak in that moment. I got an understanding, again, that sometimes speed is not security, that God is more interested in stability than swiftness. Following His plan is more secured.
Yes, it gave me a reality check, to keep moving, getting better, improving my skills but not to get weary because I feel ‘I am not there yet’. I realised that what someone might see as an end is actually what another person is waiting for to start. So……..
In God’s will and plan, its never late! Hold on….